“BAM gave us permission to pour our hearts out and hold each
other up. I started showing empathy toward others, and
toward myself. That was new.”
— Daniel Methene
This post is part of Becoming Us, a storytelling series from Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni. Through their own words, we explore what it means to grow, to heal, and to become.
Before he found the words to name his pain Daniel Methene carried everything inside. Growing up on Chicago’s South Side, he learned early how violence, loss, and addiction could harden you before you ever had a chance to be soft. In this Becoming Us story, Daniel reflects on how BAM helped him open up, build brotherhood, and believe in a future beyond survival—and how those same lessons now guide him as a father and a Becoming A Man (BAM) counselor, walking alongside young men who were once like him.
Carrying It All Inside
“Before BAM, I didn’t talk much. I was quiet, angry, and didn’t know how to express what I was feeling. I grew up on the East Side of Chicago in South Shore, raised mostly by my grandmother. My dad was around, but he worked a lot—so it was me, my granny, and my sister. I saw a lot growing up. Violence. Friends getting killed. Family members battling addiction. My uncles overdosing. I remember ambulances coming, Narcan being administered, my grandmother praying over them. That stuff numbed me early. I carried it all inside.
When I first joined BAM in 2013, I was a freshman at Julian High School. At first, I thought it was just a way to get out of class. We’d heard there was good food and field trips. That’s what got my attention. But once I got into the sessions and saw how real our counselors were with us, especially Derek and later Troy, I started realizing this was something different.”
“BAM taught me how to check in with myself. At first, my check-ins were surface level: ‘I’m good,’ ‘I’m fine.’ But over time, as I started to feel safe in the space, I opened up more. We built a brotherhood in our group. It didn’t matter where you came from—we all had something we were going through. BAM gave us permission to pour our hearts out and hold each other up. I started showing empathy toward others, and toward myself. That was new.
I’ll never forget one session where I talked about watching my uncles struggle with addiction—seeing them almost die. When I started to share, I broke down. Before I could even finish, the whole group came around me and hugged me. These were other young men, my peers, showing me love, passing me tissues, telling me I was not alone. That moment changed me. It was the first time I felt like I could be vulnerable and not be judged.”
Expanding Horizons
“BAM also gave me something I hadn’t experienced before: the chance to leave my neighborhood. My first time leaving the city was on a BAM college tour in 2017. It opened my eyes. Different accents, different food, different ways of life—it showed me there was more out there. That I could have more, too. Just being in a place where I felt safe… that alone was powerful. Even going downtown or to a Bulls game was a big deal back then. BAM made that possible.
The values I learned in BAM are still with me. Back then, the two that stuck with me most were accountability and self-determination. I used to give up on myself a lot. But BAM made me believe I could be something, do something. Today, as a father to twin daughters, Respect for Womanhood is the one I hold closest. Watching my partner give birth changed me. I want to raise my girls in a world where men show up with empathy and respect.
Now, I’m a BAM counselor. I’ve been doing this work for three years. What inspired me? Giving back. Helping young people the way I was helped. When I meet a student who’s walking into BAM for the first time, I tell him: “It’s OK to be scared. It’s OK not to know. But if you open your heart, if you let yourself grow here, you won’t regret it. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
That’s what BAM did for me. It helped me feel, speak, and believe in myself again. And now, I get to help others do the same.”
About Becoming Us
Becoming Us is a storytelling project by Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni—those who have walked through our programs and emerged with hard-won lessons, growth, and resilience. Inspired by Humans of New York, each story celebrates the power of support, self-awareness, and community.
This project was co-created by Stacay Woods, a former marketing and communications intern with Youth Guidance’s Project Prepare Blue.