“I’ve become the version of myself I always dreamed of being.
I compliment people more. I express myself freely—through my voice,
my style, and how I show up in the world.”
— Kailee Roman
This post is part of Becoming Us, a new storytelling series from Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni. Through their own words, we explore what it means to grow, to heal, and to become.
Kailee Roman, an alumna of Youth Guidance’s Working on Womanhood (WOW) program, came of age during a moment when the world felt disconnected and uncertain. Emerging from the isolation of the pandemic into high school, she struggled with insecurity, social anxiety, and the pressure to meet unrealistic beauty standards—especially as a Latina searching for representation that reflected her worth.
In WOW, Kailee discovered something she hadn’t expected: a space where vulnerability was welcomed, individuality was celebrated, and sisterhood replaced comparison. Today, she reflects on how WOW helped her redefine beauty, build healthier relationships, and grow into the confident version of herself she once only imagined.
Here, in her own words, Kailee shares her journey of becoming.
Who I Was
Before I joined WOW, I was transitioning from being inside all the time during the pandemic to suddenly socializing again in what everyone calls “the most important moment of your life”—high school. But it was nothing like the movies. Everyone was worried about how they looked or how they were perceived. We forgot how to just be human. Our masks even hid our emotions, and we all felt distant from each other.
At the same time, I was going through a bad breakup. The media I consumed kept telling me I needed makeup, straighter hair, or a different body to be wanted. I started spiraling, thinking about how I could change myself to fit the beauty standard. I felt extremely insecure and hated my body.
Growing up, I rarely saw Latinas represented positively. We were described as too loud, too hairy, too much. I wanted to fit in so badly that I began changing myself to match what I thought people wanted.
I also had severe social anxiety. I constantly wondered what people thought about me—what they were saying behind my back or whether I was enough. I was always questioning myself.
The WOW Experience
I remember my first WOW session clearly because my childhood best friend was there with me, which helped ease my anxiety. Our counselor read statements aloud and asked us to stand if we related to them. At first, the statements felt simple. But then she said: “I don’t feel confident in myself or my body.”
Everyone stood up.
There was silence for a moment—and then we all laughed. Not because it was funny, but because we finally realized we weren’t alone.
Growing up, I had strong women role models, especially my mom. She taught me to speak my mind, be kind, and be strong. But I misunderstood strength. I never saw her show sadness, so I thought being a woman meant hiding negative emotions.
WOW changed that for me. I learned that womanhood means feeling everything—sadness, anger, happiness, love. I started expressing myself first through journaling, then eventually out loud. For the first time, I felt heard.
One session I’ll never forget was called Barbie Beauty Standards. We wrote insecurities and beauty expectations onto a Barbie poster. I was terrified to be honest, but I wrote everything I disliked about myself—my curly hair, my body, my height, almost everything.
When our counselor read the responses aloud, something shifted. Traits someone hated about themselves were things someone else found beautiful. I realized our differences were not flaws—they were what made us unique. We only have one body, and it deserves love.
WOW also helped me understand healthy relationships. I realized I had spent so much time changing myself to please others—staying quiet, following people’s expectations, even ignoring my own needs or safety. As I grew more confident, I began changing my style and expressing myself more, but some people wanted me to stay the old version of me.
That’s when I realized those relationships weren’t healthy—and I chose to walk away.
Who I Am Now
Today, I carry WOW with me every day.
I remind myself that I am unique and that I’ve become the version of myself I always dreamed of being. I compliment people more. I express myself freely—through my voice, my style, and how I show up in the world.
I’ve learned that embarrassment is small compared to living fully. I know my emotions are valid, and I understand that the right people—your soulmate, your real community—will treat you with the respect you deserve.
Whenever I start doubting myself, I go back and read my old journals. They remind me how far I’ve come.
If a young woman were about to walk into her first WOW session feeling like I once did, I would tell her: “It only gets better from here.“
About Becoming Us
Becoming Us is a storytelling project by Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni—those who have walked through our programs and emerged with hard-won lessons, growth, and resilience. Inspired by Humans of New York, each story celebrates the power of support, self-awareness, and community.
This project was co-created by Stacay Woods, a former marketing and communications intern with Youth Guidance’s Project Prepare Blue.