Becoming Us

“I’ve become the version of myself I always dreamed of being.
I compliment people more. I express myself freely—through my voice,
my style, and how I show up in the world.”

— Kailee Roman

This post is part of Becoming Us, a new storytelling series from Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni. Through their own words, we explore what it means to grow, to heal, and to become.

Kailee Roman, an alumna of Youth Guidance’s Working on Womanhood (WOW) program, came of age during a moment when the world felt disconnected and uncertain. Emerging from the isolation of the pandemic into high school, she struggled with insecurity, social anxiety, and the pressure to meet unrealistic beauty standards—especially as a Latina searching for representation that reflected her worth.

In WOW, Kailee discovered something she hadn’t expected: a space where vulnerability was welcomed, individuality was celebrated, and sisterhood replaced comparison. Today, she reflects on how WOW helped her redefine beauty, build healthier relationships, and grow into the confident version of herself she once only imagined.

Here, in her own words, Kailee shares her journey of becoming.

Who I Was

Before I joined WOW, I was transitioning from being inside all the time during the pandemic to suddenly socializing again in what everyone calls “the most important moment of your life”—high school. But it was nothing like the movies. Everyone was worried about how they looked or how they were perceived. We forgot how to just be human. Our masks even hid our emotions, and we all felt distant from each other.

At the same time, I was going through a bad breakup. The media I consumed kept telling me I needed makeup, straighter hair, or a different body to be wanted. I started spiraling, thinking about how I could change myself to fit the beauty standard. I felt extremely insecure and hated my body.

Growing up, I rarely saw Latinas represented positively. We were described as too loud, too hairy, too much. I wanted to fit in so badly that I began changing myself to match what I thought people wanted.

I also had severe social anxiety. I constantly wondered what people thought about me—what they were saying behind my back or whether I was enough. I was always questioning myself.

The WOW Experience

I remember my first WOW session clearly because my childhood best friend was there with me, which helped ease my anxiety. Our counselor read statements aloud and asked us to stand if we related to them. At first, the statements felt simple. But then she said: “I don’t feel confident in myself or my body.”

Everyone stood up.

There was silence for a moment—and then we all laughed. Not because it was funny, but because we finally realized we weren’t alone.

Growing up, I had strong women role models, especially my mom. She taught me to speak my mind, be kind, and be strong. But I misunderstood strength. I never saw her show sadness, so I thought being a woman meant hiding negative emotions.

WOW changed that for me. I learned that womanhood means feeling everything—sadness, anger, happiness, love. I started expressing myself first through journaling, then eventually out loud. For the first time, I felt heard.

One session I’ll never forget was called Barbie Beauty Standards. We wrote insecurities and beauty expectations onto a Barbie poster. I was terrified to be honest, but I wrote everything I disliked about myself—my curly hair, my body, my height, almost everything.

When our counselor read the responses aloud, something shifted. Traits someone hated about themselves were things someone else found beautiful. I realized our differences were not flaws—they were what made us unique. We only have one body, and it deserves love.

WOW also helped me understand healthy relationships. I realized I had spent so much time changing myself to please others—staying quiet, following people’s expectations, even ignoring my own needs or safety. As I grew more confident, I began changing my style and expressing myself more, but some people wanted me to stay the old version of me.

That’s when I realized those relationships weren’t healthy—and I chose to walk away.

Who I Am Now

Today, I carry WOW with me every day.

I remind myself that I am unique and that I’ve become the version of myself I always dreamed of being. I compliment people more. I express myself freely—through my voice, my style, and how I show up in the world.

I’ve learned that embarrassment is small compared to living fully. I know my emotions are valid, and I understand that the right people—your soulmate, your real community—will treat you with the respect you deserve.

Whenever I start doubting myself, I go back and read my old journals. They remind me how far I’ve come.

If a young woman were about to walk into her first WOW session feeling like I once did, I would tell her: “It only gets better from here.“

About Becoming Us

Becoming Us is a storytelling project by Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni—those who have walked through our programs and emerged with hard-won lessons, growth, and resilience. Inspired by Humans of New York, each story celebrates the power of support, self-awareness, and community.

This project was co-created by Stacay Woods, a former marketing and communications intern with Youth Guidance’s Project Prepare Blue.

“BAM gave us permission to pour our hearts out and hold each

other up. I started showing empathy toward others, and

toward myself. That was new.”

— Daniel Methene

This post is part of Becoming Us, a storytelling series from Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni. Through their own words, we explore what it means to grow, to heal, and to become.

Before he found the words to name his pain Daniel Methene carried everything inside. Growing up on Chicago’s South Side, he learned early how violence, loss, and addiction could harden you before you ever had a chance to be soft. In this Becoming Us story, Daniel reflects on how BAM helped him open up, build brotherhood, and believe in a future beyond survival—and how those same lessons now guide him as a father and a Becoming A Man (BAM) counselor, walking alongside young men who were once like him.

Carrying It All Inside

“Before BAM, I didn’t talk much. I was quiet, angry, and didn’t know how to express what I was feeling. I grew up on the East Side of Chicago in South Shore, raised mostly by my grandmother. My dad was around, but he worked a lot—so it was me, my granny, and my sister. I saw a lot growing up. Violence. Friends getting killed. Family members battling addiction. My uncles overdosing. I remember ambulances coming, Narcan being administered, my grandmother praying over them. That stuff numbed me early. I carried it all inside.

When I first joined BAM in 2013, I was a freshman at Julian High School. At first, I thought it was just a way to get out of class. We’d heard there was good food and field trips. That’s what got my attention. But once I got into the sessions and saw how real our counselors were with us, especially Derek and later Troy, I started realizing this was something different.”

“BAM taught me how to check in with myself. At first, my check-ins were surface level: ‘I’m good,’ ‘I’m fine.’ But over time, as I started to feel safe in the space, I opened up more. We built a brotherhood in our group. It didn’t matter where you came from—we all had something we were going through. BAM gave us permission to pour our hearts out and hold each other up. I started showing empathy toward others, and toward myself. That was new.

I’ll never forget one session where I talked about watching my uncles struggle with addiction—seeing them almost die. When I started to share, I broke down. Before I could even finish, the whole group came around me and hugged me. These were other young men, my peers, showing me love, passing me tissues, telling me I was not alone. That moment changed me. It was the first time I felt like I could be vulnerable and not be judged.”

Expanding Horizons

“BAM also gave me something I hadn’t experienced before: the chance to leave my neighborhood. My first time leaving the city was on a BAM college tour in 2017. It opened my eyes. Different accents, different food, different ways of life—it showed me there was more out there. That I could have more, too. Just being in a place where I felt safe… that alone was powerful. Even going downtown or to a Bulls game was a big deal back then. BAM made that possible.

The values I learned in BAM are still with me. Back then, the two that stuck with me most were accountability and self-determination. I used to give up on myself a lot. But BAM made me believe I could be something, do something. Today, as a father to twin daughters, Respect for Womanhood is the one I hold closest. Watching my partner give birth changed me. I want to raise my girls in a world where men show up with empathy and respect.

Now, I’m a BAM counselor. I’ve been doing this work for three years. What inspired me? Giving back. Helping young people the way I was helped. When I meet a student who’s walking into BAM for the first time, I tell him: “It’s OK to be scared. It’s OK not to know. But if you open your heart, if you let yourself grow here, you won’t regret it. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

That’s what BAM did for me. It helped me feel, speak, and believe in myself again. And now, I get to help others do the same.”

About Becoming Us

Becoming Us is a storytelling project by Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni—those who have walked through our programs and emerged with hard-won lessons, growth, and resilience. Inspired by Humans of New York, each story celebrates the power of support, self-awareness, and community.

This project was co-created by Stacay Woods, a former marketing and communications intern with Youth Guidance’s Project Prepare Blue.

“I used to think I was just surviving, just trying to make it through. But now I know that everything I went through, all the storms, were shaping me into someone stronger.”

— Stacay Woods

This post is the first in Becoming Us, a new storytelling series from Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni. Through their own words, we explore what it means to grow, to heal, and to become.

Stacay Woods, a 22-year-old alumna of Youth Guidance’s Working on Womanhood (WOW) program, has spent much of her life in transition—from foster homes to family reunifications and from deep grief to self-discovery. Raised amidst uncertainty, she grappled with self-doubt, loneliness, and the heavy burden of losing her mother at a young age. In the WOW program, she found a community that helped her confront her past, embrace her emotions, and build resilience for the future. 

Today, Stacay reflects on her journey not as one marked by setbacks, but as a path that taught her independence, acceptance, and the courage to be her most authentic self. Here, in her own words, she shares the transformative impact of WOW, the lessons in healing and self-awareness she carries forward, and her commitment to helping others facing similar storms.

Finding Home Amid Displacement

“I’d been in foster care since I was eight. I moved from one home to another, four or five places, until I got back with my aunt. That wasn’t the best situation either… I was sleeping on an ottoman, something as big as your desk. But I think I was the most resilient then, sticking it out, seeing my mom on weekends, moving between different parts of the city. I never really felt smart enough, never felt like I belonged. There was bullying, but more than that, it was this fear I carried from middle school to high school.”

“I didn’t feel heard or understood. I wish my family had taken my feelings seriously. I wished they weren’t so selfish, so that I wouldn’t have to figure everything out alone.”

“I joined WOW my freshman year, and that’s when things started to change. I learned how to accept myself and the things I couldn’t control. I learned how to handle emotions—especially anger. For the first time, I felt like someone was listening. They taught me to just… be real, to say the uncomfortable things out loud. I remember talking to my group about this girl I was always jealous of—not for her looks, but because she had this family connection I didn’t. She seemed like her life ran smooth because of it. And for the first time, I could process those feelings.”

“Grief… grief was the biggest thing I had to learn. I lost my mom when I was 16, and it was like everything blew up. At first, I didn’t even believe she was gone. I’d tell myself she was in the next room, like maybe I’d see her again. WOW helped me see that I was doing the best I could for her, even if I wasn’t perfect. That saved me from so much guilt.”

Strength Forged in the Storm

“Now, I feel more self-aware. Less angry. I know who I am, and I’m learning not to let my past define me. WOW taught me that independence is my word. Being stable on my own, that’s my goal now. But I also learned that you need people around you sometimes, to help ground you when things get tough. Someone once told me, ‘Tell yourself a different story.’ So I do, every day.”

“Self-doubt? That’s just the beginning. If you feel it, don’t let it be your final thought. And family? If they’re not supporting your growth, maybe it’s best not to share your dreams with them. That’s a hard truth, but I learned that I have options. As long as I’m breathing, I can do anything.”

“Now, I’m grateful for the storm. It made me stronger, and now I get to be here for others going through it, too.”

Reflecting on everything she’s overcome, Stacay’s voice is calm, yet resolute. 

“I used to think I was just surviving, just trying to make it through. But now I know that everything I went through, all the storms, were shaping me into someone stronger. Today, I want to be the person I needed when I was younger—the one who listens, who believes in you, who reminds you that you’re not alone.” She pauses, her face breaking into a gentle smile. “I’ve learned that healing isn’t about forgetting the pain. It’s about building something new from it—something resilient, something powerful. That’s what I carry forward, and that’s what I want to share with others.” 

About Becoming Us

Becoming Us is a storytelling project by Youth Guidance that honors the voices of our alumni—those who have walked through our programs and emerged with hard-won lessons, growth, and resilience. Inspired by Humans of New York, each story celebrates the power of support, self-awareness, and community.

This project was co-created by Stacay Woods, a former marketing and communications intern with Youth Guidance’s Project Prepare Blue.